


We Have Just Begun

by lovetheblazer



Category: Glee RPF, IT Crowd
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 20:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovetheblazer/pseuds/lovetheblazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My very late contribution to CCAUW Theme: Daily Grind. The IT Crowd/CrissColfer mashup. Spoilers for The IT Crowd 2x02 “Return of the Golden Child.” Title comes from the song Wild and Young by American Bang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Have Just Begun

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/22133) by Shannen. 
  * Inspired by [Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/22134) by Shannen. 



“Hello IT, have you tried turning it on and off again?” Chris picks up the phone, his voice dripping with weariness. “Just hit the power switch... The big glowing button? Yep, that's the one,” he continues, rolling his eyes and mouthing 'what an idiot' to Darren. “Uh huh,” he says a second later, hanging up without so much as goodbye.

 

“Ugh,” Chris groans. “Why are people so dumb?”

 

“No idea,” Darren replies with a chuckle. “But back to the question at hand - Iron Man 3...”

 

“No, I'm sorry, but there's no way Iron Man 3 is better than the Avengers. Are you even _hearing_ the words that come out of your mouth?” Chris teases.

 

“It was better. It had tension. It _built_. It had more Tony Stark, and he's the main draw for The Avengers, let's be real. And I'm sorry, but Chris Hemsworth was woefully miscast as Thor.”

 

“How dare you?” Chris gasps.

 

“Whatever,” Darren shoots off, “you just like him for his hot bod and ridiculous hair.”

 

“Well, there's that too... But mostly I just really appreciate his...acting.”

 

“Riiiiight,” Darren groans. “His acting, huh? That's what we're calling it nowadays?”

 

“Guys!” Ashley calls from her office. “The phone's been ringing for ages with no answer.”

 

“So?” Chris asks. “They'll call back. Or they won't. I'm good either way.”

 

“Especially with the not calling back,” Darren adds.

 

Ashley totters out of her office on 4 inch heels, shaking her head exasperatedly. “That is terrible customer service. How many times do I have to tell you two – with customer service, it's all about...”

 

“Relationships,” Darren and Chris groan in unison, exchanging pointed looks.

 

“Yes, it is,” Ashley replies, a bit defensively. “And as your relationship manager, I must insist on better response times.”

 

“Ashley,” Chris sighs, “You don't even know how to turn a computer on, let alone do a basic install. How about you stick to your relationships, and we'll stick to the technical details, okay?”

 

“I know how to turn my computer on!” Ashley scoffs. “You just push the big...light up thingie.”

 

“You mean the power button? Jesus Ashley,” Darren says with a shake of his head.

 

“I'll make you a deal, Ash,” Chris offers. “I'll answer the phone for the rest of the day without complaint if you can answer a simple computer question. Something a five year old could answer.”

 

“Hmm, sounding good so far,” Ashley agrees. “What's the catch?”

 

“If you get it wrong, I don't have to answer the phone for the rest of the week,” Chris explains.

 

“You're on,” Ashley grins, extending her hand to shake. “Okay, so what's the test? It has to be something easy, that was the deal.”

 

“Alright, the million dollar question is...” Chris intones dramatically, grinning as Darren begins drumming on the table.

 

“...what do you use to access the internet?” Chris turns to Ashley expectantly, giggling as Darren begins to hum the Jeopardy theme.

 

“I think you'll find that you use a computer for that,” Ashley replies confidently.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Darren gasps. Ashley stares back at him, making it clear that _no_ , she isn't kidding. “Oh god, you're serious?”

 

Chris begins banging his forehead against the desk in mock horror. “Ash sweetie, wow. How the hell did you ever get hired for the IT department?”

 

“Hey, that's not fair! I have very valuable experience in personal relationship development. And you can't ask a trick question.”

 

“...that's not a trick question, Ash, but fine, let's try this again. Obviously yes, you need a computer, but what do you _use_ on the computer to access the internet?” Chris prods.

 

Ashley looks momentarily flummoxed, stroking her chin as she considers the question. “You use the...internet button,” she answers hesitantly.

 

“Ha!” Chris crows. “I _knew_ it – you lose, sorry Ashley, but not even close.”

 

Darren hops up, exchanging victory high fives with Chris. “Well played,” he congratulates.

 

“You do too use the internet button! You know, the little E that says internet on it,” Ashley whines.

 

“Nope, it's a browser, not an internet button. And if you honestly tell me you use Internet Explorer as your browser, I may have to revoke your internet privileges,” Chris scolds.

 

“Agreed,” Darren nods. “1997 called and they want their browser back.”

 

“I hate you,” Ashley moans. “I'm sorry we can't all be huge nerds like the two of you, with your internet browsings.”

 

“Browser, Ashley. It's called a BROWSER. Seriously, what is wrong with you?”

 

“Hey, some of us were too busy getting laid in college to worry about weird comic book and internet trivia,” Ashley shoots back.

 

“Hey! I got laid in college,” Chris snaps.

 

Darren gives him a slightly questioning look.

 

“I _did_!” Chris spits back. Then a bit more quietly, he murmurs, “I didn't say _a lot_ , but it happened.” He glances at Darren out of the corner of his eye. And he's not sure if he's imagining things, but he could swear Darren looks the tiniest bit...jealous?

 

“Whatever,” Darren mutters. “No phones for the rest of the day, this is going to be glorious,” he gloats to Chris.

 

“Hey now, hang on, that wasn't the deal,” Ashley warns.

 

“Yeah, it was,” Chris replies wearily.

 

“No, I said _you_ wouldn't have to answer the phone for the rest of the week. Didn't say anything about Darren, now did I?”

 

“Oh come on!” Darren groans, dropping his head to his hands. “That's not fair.”

 

“Ashley,” Chris whines, “don't punish Darren for your inability to operate a computer.” Ashley folds her arms across her chest, glaring at Chris and Darren in turn, making it obvious she isn't budging. As if on cue, the phone begins to ring and Ashley peers at Darren expectantly.

 

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine,” Darren sighs exaggeratedly, picking up the phone on the fifth ring with a bored “IT, have you tried turning it off and back on again?”

 

* * *

Chris enters the office twenty minutes late the next morning, sunglasses still on in a failed bid to stop the insistent throbbing in his head. “Ugh,” he groans, sliding onto the couch. “Coffee,” he moans weakly, reaching out a hand, before dropping it back to the couch.

 

“Well, I feel fantastic!” Darren exclaims.

 

“Geez Darren, inside voice,” Chris winces. “But seriously, coffee?”

 

“Yeah, I'll grab you some, just don't break my Star Wars mug, k?” Darren says agreeably, pouring a cup for Chris and walking it over to him.

 

“You are saint,” Chris whispers. He sips the coffee gratefully, starting to feel a bit more human after a minute. “How are you even alive right now?” he asks. “You had even more than me to drink last night, and that's really saying something.”

 

“I'm healthy as a horse, that's how,” Darren answers proudly.

 

“I seriously doubt that. You basically live off Hot Pockets,” Chris frowns.

 

“Yet somehow I'm still going to live until I'm 86.”

 

“Keep telling yourself that, kid,” Chris grumbles.

 

“No, I'm serious. 86 years, 4 months, 3 days and...” Darren trails off, glancing at his watch. “...11 hours, to be more precise.”

 

“And exactly how did you come up with that figure?” Chris asks curiously.

 

“Day of Your Death.com,” Darren says, as if the answer should be obvious. “Have you honestly never checked it out?” He grabs his laptop, typing something quickly and pulling up a site. “You just put in a little basic info, answer a few questions...”

 

“That sounds awful. How morbid...” Chris breathes. “Why would anyone want to do th-?”

 

Before he can finish the thought, Darren interjects with a wince. “Ooh yikes...”

 

“Wait! What are you doing? You didn't - that's not mine, right? I don't know want to know,” Chris panics.

 

“Hmm? No no,” Darren manages, trying for casual. “Uh uh, just looking at some...sports scores.”

 

“Darren, you know nothing about sports. You're looking at when I'm going to die, aren't you?”

 

“Uhh,” Darren mumbles. “Maybe?”

 

“Just tell me,” Chris sighs. “I'm gonna assume the worst anyways.”

 

“Do you _really_ want to know?” Darren hesitates, looking at Chris' horrified face.

 

“Yes, out with it. How much time do I have left?”

 

“3 PM,” Darren replies.

 

“...okay, 3 PM _when_?” Chris asks warily.

 

“Just 3 PM,” Darren clarifies apologetically.

 

“You mean to tell me that according to this website, I'm going to die at 3 PM today?” Chris shrieks.

 

“Yes,” Darren nods, “That's what the calculations have led me to believe.”

 

“Today, as in not tomorrow, _today_?”

 

“That's correct,” Darren validates.

 

“Well, that can't be right,” Chris gasps. “Show me what you put in for the responses. You must have answered the questions incorrectly or _something_.”

 

* * *

Half an hour and three different iterations of the survey later, Chris' death date hasn't budged. “Oh god, I'm really going to die today,” he whimpers.

 

“It's just a website,” Darren soothes. “I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. It's probably just a coincidence.”

 

“Easy for you to say, Mr. I'm Gonna Live Till I'm 86,” Chris groans. “I need to get laid. Pronto.”

 

Darren chokes on his coffee, his eyes going comically wide. “Uhh Chris,” he stutters, blushing adorably.

 

“Oh god no, not like that,” Chris amends hurriedly, flushing hot at the suggestion. “It'd be nice to get some before the grave, that's all.”

 

“Fair enough,” Darren chuckles. “Got any prospects in mind?”

 

“Sadly no,” Chris sighs. “Although there was that one cute guy on the seventh floor. You know - the one with the muscles and the hair.”

 

Darren frowns, looking like a kicked puppy. He fidgets, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “No, I don't know who you're talking about.”

 

“Eh, doesn't matter, I'm sure he's out of my league anyways,” Chris says wryly.

 

“Are you kidding me, Chris? Any guy would be lucky to have you,” Darren speaks with conviction.

 

Chris just looks at Darren for a long moment, feeling the subtle sparks of something simmering just under the surface. He tries not to feel too disappointed when Darren is the first to drop his gaze, turning his head to the side and rubbing at his neck and collarbone nervously.

 

“So how do you think I'm going to bite it?” Chris asks after a protracted pause. “Because maybe if I avoid any and all safety hazards between now and 3:00 PM, I'll make it out alive? It could happen right?”

 

“Worth a try,” Darren agrees easily. “Never say never,” he adds with a small smirk, although Chris notices that the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. “So safety hazards, huh? Where should we begin?”

 

Chris gestures towards the overloaded surge protector sitting atop a stack of old comic books. “Well, this whole office is one giant death trap, but pretty sure that's gonna catch on fire any second.”

 

Darren hops up with a clap of his hands, “Okay, Operation Keep Chris Alive Until 3:01 PM is officially in progress. Let's do this.”

 

* * *

“What time is it?” Chris asks anxiously, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

 

“10 seconds later than the last time you asked,” Darren scolds gently. “Chris,” he continues, his voice softening, “c'mon, you aren't _really_ going to die. It's just a silly website.”

 

“You don't know that,” Chris moans. “What time is it?”

 

Darren glances at his watch. “2:59”

 

“Well, it's been nice knowing you. You can have my blu-rays and collection of graphic tees if I don't make it,” Chris lets out in a rush.

 

Before Darren can talk himself out of it, he reaches for Chris, taking his hand in his. Chris jolts, his eyes flying to Darren's face. They stare at each other, both leaning in imperceptibly until they are _close_. So close that Darren can just make out the faint freckles sprinkled across Chris' nose and cheeks. The office is silent, save for the steady tick of the clock, counting down the seconds until 3 PM. Chris' eyes flicker to Darren's lips unconsciously and _oh,_ suddenly Darren really, really wants to kiss Chris. He convinces himself to lean in just the tiniest bit more, closing the gap until their noses are almost brushing, until there's no longer a question that _something_ is about to occur.

 

Chris' eyes flutter closed and Darren draws a sharp breath, screwing up his courage. Darren's lips are just brushing his when Chris lets out a sharp cry, slumping forward and clutching at his side.

 

“Chris? Oh god!” Darren shouts, his hands cupping Chris' face. “What is it? What hurts?” he calls, heart hammering in his chest.

 

“M'side. Oh...this is...the end,” Chris pants.

 

Darren's hands slide down to Chris' left side where he's hunched over. Suddenly Chris stills, his eyes widening in recognition. “Wait – false alarm...” he mumbles.

 

“You asshole!” Darren gasps. “Jesus Chris, I thought you were _dying_.”

 

“No no no,” Chris rushes to explain. “I wasn't joking – my phone has this really _intense_ vibrate setting and I forgot it was in my pocket and it went off and um...”

 

Darren slumps forward, his face resting on Chris' shoulder as he laughs long and hard. After a second, Chris joins him until they both are slightly hysterical, wiping tears of laughter from their cheeks.

 

“God, what a day,” Darren groans.

 

“No kidding,” Chris agrees. “Hey, what time is it?”

 

“3:05 PM,” Darren grins. “Looks like you're going to make it after all.”

 

“Well, that's a fucking relief,” Chris sighs. His face sobers slightly as he gazes at Darren, his eyes going dark. “But you know what they always say about near death experiences...”

 

Darren barely suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at 'near death experience,' sensing something in Chris' gaze. “What do they say?” he prompts, his eyes never leaving Chris.

 

“Near death experiences really expose your priorities,” Chris practically purrs, his eyes flickering down to Darren's lips before his mouth quirks into a wolfish grin.

 

“Really?” Darren whispers. “And what's your top priority right now, Mr. Colfer?”

 

“Kissing you senseless,” Chris murmurs, surging forward for fierce, passionate kiss that Darren never wants to end.

 


End file.
